You're welcome! Example: Controlling: "You need to end your affair, right now!" Boundary: "I cannot live in an open marriage." Controlling: You need to change your cellphone #, and give me a copy of the detailed bill every month!" Boundary: "I'm glad you want to reconcile, but in order for me to feel safe in the relationship, I need completely no-contact and transparency from you for awhile -- including changing your cellphone # and having your new bill sent to me for a period of time."
The last few posts from Gooch and PDT REALLY hit home for me! So it's really a question of stating I need you to be in this spot for this to work for me, show me that you can be that person. You have some EXCELLENT advice here on an alternative to your list that should work better I think.
