I'm glad to hear your thoughts. I've got your back. I know what you mean about it seeming like friendship was impossible and then when it's suddenly unexpectedly there it makes you reconsider things!!!
I think whatever you have been doing is working, and I would keep doing it!
I recently realized myself that letting go doesn't have to mean "stop caring", it can actually just mean "stop trying to control everything [even if you still care]". Maybe this is where you are at too???? I think the bottom line is to really continue to live for yourself, facing your own fears and demons, going for your own dreams and joys. While, if you choose, holding open a possibility space for friendship and love to again sprout, grow, and bloom. For whatever reason, putting ourselves first and letting go of control seems to work better than putting "the relationship" first and trying to control everything!! Not that you were trying to control everything, I'm just monologuing here.
Big hugs to you!!! Again, whenever you are ready to share, I'm eager to hear your exciting new secret thoughts about the future!!! Again I am so glad to hear of the movement in your interactions with H. What a relief to be able to really connect so deeply, as you did, and talk about so many scary monsters!!! You are a strong, brave woman. Keep it up!!!
