Is the answer blowing in the wind?

[Trixi]

Actually, yeah, I am on FB. Not sure how to let you know who I am since it's my real name....?

You know, I get the whole "validation" thing; BUT, to not actually challenge the person...? My H was talking about when he first moved out he was feeling lonely and tried out those other two girls and he just "couldn't do it" and he wondered if he "was a man". Seems to me, THAT would have been a great time for HER to say "Well, when you love someone and you're married to them, that would be an appropriate feeling." But, no, she did not say that. She just nodded her head. He continues and says "I guess I want to be able to just have fun [sex] and not have to be in love or committed." I couldn't stand it and said "THAT is something to ASPIRE to?" He said "Well, no. That's not really who I am. But my sister thinks I fall in love to quickly, and that I should just be alone." WTF?! The counselor could have done so much with all of that. She could have explored why he wants to have shallow relationships. Why he is afraid of intimacy. Why he would want to relive being a teenager when he is 45. My H is no stranger to lots of sex. He started when he was 13. He's good looking and always had girls after him. He is not some high-school band geek that just finally realized he was cute.

ARGH! It is just so frustrating! He already has told SS that we're "off" again. And he told him that he is going thru a developmental stage. That f'ing boils my blood like you can't imagine. As much as SS wants us back together, he said I should broaden my horizons and go out on some dates. SS actually tried to call him out on some of the bull that H was spouting-- said "look, you had your chance to be on your own already; you made a commitment-- figure out what is holding you back- don't 'blame' it on this "stage"." Of course, it fell on deaf ears.

I just picked up an ebook about getting "Unstuck". I'm pretty excited about the "soul letter" concept; basically you write a letter *for your eyes only* that goes thru the anger, sadness, blame, wishes, and ends with love. I'm doing it justice...well, we'll see if it works before I sing it's praises.

Anywhooo- thanks for checking in. If you have any ideas about the alternate world; let me know.:)