Steady - my question is "is detaching the same as giving up?" Michelle says to never give up and I do not want to do that!
Did you read both those links? The answer to your question is in there. (especially in the second one)
Detaching is not giving up - it's actually quite the opposite. You can't get where you want to go without detaching. And detaching is a win-win for you. Either way your sitch goes, the detaching will get you to a better place in your life - with or without your spouse.
Read those posts. Don't just read the words - we have a habit of reading something and because we understand and comprehend the words we think we 'got it'. Believe me I know first hand and I even explained that in those posts. Detaching isn't an intellectual exercise....you have to get it into your bones!
I posted those so others hopefully could learn from my mistakes. I wrote out what I did wrong in hindsight. I wish I was where I am now when my sitch first started - I guarantee it would be in a different place all together.
One other thing - don't be fooled by the advice in those posts when you look at where my sitch is right now. I didn't create any of what I wrote, it's just a distillation of what was passed onto me by many great people here at these boards.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
