Fitness: I'm doing the same thing about the 'great body' and doing pretty well. I suppose I'm simply leveraging the 15 pounds lost in the first 6 weeks of the bomb. Wow - 40lbs! Well done! It's amazing how well the exercise helps during the stressful times, too.
Women: Getting around them more will probably help - especially if the social interaction is based on a topic other than you or her. For instance, a recent MEETUP.com event for travel enthusiasts that I went to was very fun, full of conversation among everybody, and provided very very easy ice breakers. Although I'm new to being 'back in the game', my plan is to use non-suggestive and non-threatening invites such as "I'm going to go hiking tomorrow at XYZ. Do you do any hiking?", using a third topic (not me, not her) to chat about briefly. Theoretically, if they're receptive, I'll simply ask if they want to join me --- and work on not getting defensive, cowering, or back-peddling if the response is a flat, or even watered-down, "No". Even better, I'll probably go hiking anyway - as it adds to my fitness goals.
NOTE: Don't use Meetup.com events to pick up women. Use it to meet new friends, run into them a couple of times at future events (where you are having fun anyway), and just talk about stuff with them and others. The timing for a casual invite should click once you get to know them a bit better.
