Glam, Beginner gave you excellent advice...pull back a lot, not just a little and leave him be. He scared himself back up into the tunnel and he sensed that you were expecting things from him that he cannot give right now, i.e., his fully attention, love, etc. He will come back out to play in the sandbox again, and this time, it will be a longer period of time.
He's still got a lot of growing to do yet. In other words, he's 3/4 baked up. While the baking is continuing, keep the focus on you and your children. If he wants to be a part of the family, he will have to be the one to find a way to join in. Remember...he's just a friend at this point.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
