But then I also thought that I really don't care that much about the shows. They are just frivolous indulgences, and my M is obviously way more important to me.
Was just wondering if something like me watching shows he hates wasn't *helping* my situation.
No big deal, I suppose.
I just had to chip in here. Its frequently the case that the HD spouse in a SSM will start thinking of all the things they can do that would "please" their LD spouse, hopefully ensuring that they are "in the mood" more often...! Woah. Slow down. Stop.
(1) If he "hates" these shows - that's his problem.
(2) If you want to watch them - watch them. We all need our indulgences, "frivolous" or otherwise.
(3) Maybe you watching these shows that he "hates" (his problem) isn't helping bring the sex back. But I entirely fail to see how dropping them all of a sudden is going to help. What? - he isn't f*cking you, because of the TV programmes you watch? WTF? See? When you actually break it down, it doesn't make any sense at all.
(4) Its not just men that can fall into the "Too Nice" syndrome of doing everything to please and placate their spouse. Do not fall into it - it will only make things worse.
(5) Forget this notion that giving things up, making sacrifices, results in a better marriage or sex life. Frequently, the result of a succession of "no big deals" is in fact a great deal of resentment. Your marriage is actually not more important than YOU (whoever YOU is).
(6) In conclusion, watch the damn shows, don't watch them, make YOUR choice. But don't give 'em up in order to mould yourself in the shape of your perception of his approval, thinking this will "help" the marriage.
Now if you'll excuse me - I gotta get back to Baywatch.
S&A
"A man can be destroyed but not defeated" - from The Old Man and the Sea, by Ernest Hemingway.
Which I take to mean that every man has within him a spirit of relentlessness and optimism. Its already there; he just has to cultivate it.
