He's good. He's getting bigger every day and it's the most amazing thing to watch. We're going to go on a weekend trip away to an amusement park for his birthday this month. That should be fun. H is excited about the trip. Then the weekend after that H wants to go gamble. We have so much money we just throw it around. (That would be sarcasm.) Did you check out the joke?
You know, reading this. I think you may be right that he's letting you in little by little 2BA. Let that build momentum.
SLH, keep up the good PMA and good work.
And take the time to work on you. You deserve to be the person you meant to be when you were growing up.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Homecoming was great. Snuggled the whole entire night, walked me to the train station, 2 blocks away from, home this morning. It was another cheek kiss, but I guess that's better than nothing. Need to work on being satisfied with that. I know we are in a dance, but I'm not having fun LOL. I want my man back 100%. But basically we are working at his pace.
I'm glad he held me, or pushed in close for me to hug him the whole night b/c last time he came back he was distant and dropped the B. We're not exactly as far along as I'd like, but we are better of than we were lat time, so I really can't complain. I need to stop being do damn greedy LOL, I need to enjoy what I have, the little that that is. A little is better than zero.
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
I'm so frustrated w/ this stupid dance. We are back to the distant cheek kisses.
He has a persoanl issue going on btwn him and his family and I get treated distantly. I'm feeling so frustrated and resentful. I don't know how to detach. Just when I think I'm making progress he'll give me a kiss on the lips or hug me so tight while we sleep and I feel a connection. Now we are back to the really distant barely touching tap kiss on the cheek and I don't want that! I hate this already!!!!!!!!!
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
I have a lot of anger building up. We are back to the secretive, cold shoulder distant crap. And if I weren't trying to change my attitude so much a lot of nasty hurtful things would be coming out of my mouth to him. This rollercoaster is not fun at all. I'm getting resentful at the fact that I'm working so hard to fix something that may not be fixable.
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
Don't lose hope now! I think having that roller-coaster of emotions is normal in this situation. As things change, it uncorks emotions that you've been holding back. Don't let that work against you!
Stay strong and keep perspective. Keep that journaling going.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
