Lines used by WAS, What were yours?

[sweet-1]

My W appears to be a genius a word plays and 1 liners to justify her actions. Some are so outrageous that I've been keeping them in my journal. Here a re a few of my favs.

1. "My happyness is the most important thing here, and if I have to become the unreasonable bitch to get it so be it!"

2. "Mommy's parents were divorced when she was your age and look how strong it made her."

3. "You haven't earned my respect, you were just a sperm donor."

4. "We're just friends, and his wife knows that, sos top trying to contact her."

5. "It would be the easiest thing in the world to get back together with you, but where would that leave me?"

6. "Kids don't need a fther, they need a mother and financial stability."

7. "I've been looking deep within myself and have made some pretty major chnages."

8. "I haven't changed a bit, you're the one who needs to change."

9. "Don't make me choose between you and my father...you'll lose."

10."My family supports my decisions completely, what I tell them is my business. Their job is to help me rebuild if I make a mistake."

11."I never truly gave my heart to you."

12."The kids will be fine, divorces happen all the time."

There's alot more, but I was just curious what some of yours were. I'll bet they are all variations of the same foggy thoughts.

[dburt]

The children will adjust and be fine.

I thought we would get 2 small houses side by side so the children could go back and forth.

I have learned to hate you over the last 2 years.

I cannot change my heart.

I think we got married just so I could say I am married.

(after dropping the bomb) Are you relieved?

You don't really like being married to me, you like the idea of being married to me.

I got others, I will think back some more,

Burt

[Puppy Dog Tails]

(upon being told by her father that her mother -- a woman with whom my wife was truly best friends and talked every single day since we'd bee married -- was "devasted" by her daughter's adultery):

"Well, she just needs to get over it."

[orangedog]

"The kids will be fine. My friend grew up in a divorced house and he said there was nothing to it."

"Divorce doesn't have the stigma that it once did. It's totally ok." (Stigma or not, still doesn't mean I want to get divorced.)

"I even imagine that maybe we could buy a duplex or zero-lot-line together and you could live right next door."

I expressed concern that nobody could move out just yet because we've got a huge tax bill, no savings, and will be selling off our last major disposable items to come up with the money. Her response, "I think you're just trying to stall. If you're concerned about money then maybe you should do some freelance or part time work." (I already bill overtime each week and she works six days a week).

"My (relative) is cranky, mean, and has a drinking problem and I don't want to end up like (him/her)." (Then don't!)

"Every time we ML I was gritting my teeth because I hated it so much." (That's not what I heard.)

"It is what it is." (She says this anytime she really doesn't have a response or a reason.)

[steady]

(on cards she had written me in the past) Some of them were true, some of them weren't. It used to take me forever to pick out a card for you.

(Me: the kids will be traumatized by this) "No they won't"

I don't mind putting the kids through whatever they have to go through - it would be better than to have them seeing their mother crying every day.

Well that's the way the cookie crumbles in this kind of situation. (In response to me telling her that her settlement demand for child support would leave me unable to live any semblance of a life)

Just get a weekend job.

If you only lose 20 thousand dollars you should feel lucky in an economy like this. (In response to me saying I didn't want to take an investment loss by what she was offering me for a buyout of our house)

Why should I have to pay $20,000 to some lawyer to get you out of here (referencing legal cost for a full blown divorce) just because I married you?

We were never in love.

We screwed, we didn't make love. That's the way it was most of the time.

I need to find out why I pick the men I pick. (lol...this was a funny one to me)

We'll be good friends and do things together with the kids. I will always be in your life. (oh, you will?)

When we had sex you made me feel whorish. (this from a woman who often would yell at me (during sex) - fu*k me, fu*k me!)

We never had a marriage.

I came to the understanding that we could never have a husband/wife relationship. (As she was looking into her 'crystal ball')

It would take an act of God to get us back together. And sex, I don't ever think we could ever have sex again. (A month later we had sex....now where is the act of God?)

Ohh....I have so many more. I'll post some more later.

[sweet-1]

"It'll be what it'll be"...drives me crazy! If I don't feed my kids for a week and they starve do is ay this. Why is not working on a marriage any different.

We haven't ML in over 6 mos. And the last one was a "birthday present" in Sept. Now top top it all off, I have 3 old GF's snooping around. And I've told them in no uncertain terms, I still love my wife, and will wait until the paper is signed.

[Coach]

Guys, I get why you want to vent and point fingers and say see it's not all my fault. But is pointing out and re-hashing quotes that are un-flattering towards your W going to help you. Hurting people say hurtful things. The sarcasm and cynicism are really forms of anger. I am not going to tell you not to be angry but to make yourself happy you can't stay angry. It's hard to hold a loving, compassionate thought in your head if you are angry.

Here's a line that changed my world, "the pain of staying is greater than the pain of leaving." That was the ultimate 2x4. I had a responsibility to my W, my family and most importantly myself to get to the bottom of that. My W had fault in our R but I didn't control her. I had to take control of my actions, thoughts, feelings, beliefs and happiness. "Love your neighbor as yourself."

This journey isn't all about your spouse. It's about how you handle the obstacles and loved ones in your life. Strength and Honor.
Cheers
Coach

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Buzzkiller.

[dburt]

I think we are just looking at some of the off the wall things WAS say, I did not write mine in anger just as a way of looking at what a WAS says that sometimes do not make any sense, I find interesting in a clinical sense.

Burt

[Coach]

Buzzkiller.

And on a Friday afternoon too!

Cheers Friends