trying to figure it out...

[Dom R]

i work really hard to not let that stuff get to me anymore.

That's GREAT!

I just say (as calmly as possible) that when he says things like that (then i give an example) it makes me feel like he doesn't care about me and it hurts me.

also great!

then he tells me how i took it wrong and i need to stop being so sensitive about stuff...

Now, this is him being horribly unsensitive.
With a guy like that, calm words help YOU to stay calm and sane.. but they dont help HIM understand.
He really has no clue (especially being only 25!).
Take it from a guy who has been in his shoes.


You think I'm joking about the NERF bat.
With guys like him, I'm not, really.

Seriously.
Go buy a NERF bat.
Keep it handy.

The next time he pulls this crap on you, dont do your usual reply. Try something diferent.
Just calmly turn around, go grab the nerf bat... and then repeatedly whack him with it.
When he complains, just say, "STOP BEING SO SENSITIVE! it's Only a NERF bat! shrug it off!" (and whatever other excuses he normally uses for his bad behaviour.

Alternatively, the other thing that would get through to him is a yell-fest from you. Lose your temper; let it out.. tell him that no, you do NOT "have to stop being so sensitive", HE has to stop being such a JERK!!!

I guarantee you, that either method will get his attention, and shut him up with the "stop being so sensitive" mantra, if applied diligently.

I know that neither of them would be "comfortable" for you right now. But I suspect that you dont have the motivation to go the yelling route. Which is why I strongly recommend the nerf bat for yourself.

You well probably have to apply it a few times. Men are harder to train than puppies. but they CAN be taught

oh well. I don't need his approval today.

Good for you
But this is not about getting his approval.
This is about making a change, to make you feel more comfortable in your own home.
You deserve it. You can have it. Its just that you have to do a bit of work to get it.