Good for you SP, I helped my W packed as she was taking her time and I wanted to start moving stuff around in my bedroom. She was a little surprised but still took her a couple of weeks to move the boxes out of the house.
Me-44 WAW-42 (ILYBNILWY) S-16 S-14 M-10/17/1992 T23 Met OM 10/10/08; Bomb 12/27/08; Moved in with OM 01/27/09 Me stronger and happier everyday!
It's funny my W and I have now be S for 18+mo. and I still have clothes in the closet that I never wore, but she still hasn't hung any of her stuff on "my" side. Last time I was there I needed to get something from the closet and it made me laugh she literal has some hangers at a 45 degree angle so she doesn't go over the line.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
Well I'm glad my little pattern-disruption exercise meets with general approval -- especially Puppy's approval, which of course I crave :-).
It finally dawned on me that, by being cooperative, I was making it too easy for her. She was getting to do this on her terms, and regale her friends with LOL tales of how she'd convinced me of this and that.
So I thought perhaps I'd try uncooperative.
Now I don't mean uncooperative in the I'll-take-a-chain-saw-to-the-sofa-rather-than-let-you-have-it way.
More like uncooperative in the you-don't-get-to-be-in-charge-of-this way, in the I-have-something-to-say-about-this-divorce-too way.
So I'm trying to tread a fine line between "as if" and "spite," but I think I can do it.
The tone of my voice isn't edgy, I'm not saying "fine! just get out!", I'm not being difficult about which things will go (furnishings, et al., are among the things I'm indifferent about).
Indeed, I'm telling her I'm excited for her -- which in a weird way I am, but only because the inverse is also true, I'm excited for me -- which is really just flummoxing her.
"But SP -- I thought you wanted the marriage. Why are you excited for you?"
Because -- and I know this will sound terrible -- once she's gone from the house I can start taking charge of my "new" environment.
So that's the deal, eh, you're moving out? Okay. Now that this is MY home -- and the "house" that you visit the kids at -- I'm going to put MY mark on it.
For example, since one of the things she wanted to "float by me" was taking the living room set ("okay, good"), I've just ordered a pool table for the kids and me to fill that space.
So that WE -- the kidlings and I -- have OUR home, even tho Mom is doing her best to break it apart.
And when she visits them here, or when she stays here during my business trips abroad, she'll be in THEIR house, and not "our" (i.e., married) house.
"Those who are faithless know the pleasures of love; it is the faithful who know love's tragedies." -- Oscar Wilde
