Pearl, Just to clarify my what I about responsibility - if you think that there are things you think you need to change in order to improve the relationship or that he says needs to change-go for it. I was supporting the belief that whatever the problems were - he had no excuse for what he did! I believe you said that yourself.
The give and take part that you may be referring to is something I don't know if I can comment about -especially the pre- break up. I think you got a lot of direction and advice here from others to help sort that out.
