T, You can't force yourself to "move on" no matter what anyone says esp. if you highly value marriage and family. And the betrayal does hurt but on the other hand it shows the W's true colors and might set you free from holding out for her and make you shine brighter in the darkness. The example she sets for the kids is indeed damaging and hurtful and the total destruction is unmeasurable. Children of divorce are more likely to divorce in general. People's value systems are so different. I periodically get taken by surprise and even get annoyed by some of the stupid insensitive advice and remarks from well-meaning people. If you were more easy-peasy or loosy-goosy you'd have dated, had free sex and "moved on" a long time ago and played double jeopardy for "I don't give a sh!t for $500" , but it may take you a while to recover so take it one day at a time.
