A Cry for Help & Don't know where to go

[SRTTF]

Thank you so much Karen and 25. It helps to hear how others handle things like this.

Here is an update as well as the questions posted again.

Not sure if anyone is still checking in or now but I thought I would journal anyway.

Last weekend I got a suprise visit from my dad, sis, and brother. I thought oh sh$%, now what. They were here to kick my butt into gear and get all of my financial things together. So we did a budget, my debt as well as a debt sheet form both my H and me. All of them will be used for the spousal support case on 4/20. We also started a list of items to start selling. They helped me place a few things on Craigslist and I have been putting alot of stuff in boxes to sell.

Ok now I have a few questions.

1. I am going to send H some photos that he asked for when he first left. I guess I have just decided that it is not right to keep them from him but however, that is the only thing that I will mail him. If there is anything else that he is wanting he will have to come and get it. Anyway, my quesiton is should I put a card or letter in with the pictures and should I add any of D14? I want to tell him that I still love him and miss him terriably. I have not talked to him (well texted or e-mailed) since around Thanksgiving except I did send him a text on V-Day telling him that I miss him. Of course I didn't get a reply.

2. My other question is How do you completly give all of this to God? There are days when I feel like I have but then I either get to thinking about things or missing him or feeling so alone and wishing he was here. We were best friends. Some days I try to trick myself and think that he died and the next time I see him will be in heaven but then of course I remember that no he isn't in heaven he is with her!!!!! I just want to know what does it mean to truely put it all in Gods hands?

I found out that the check I got in the mail from H was an overpayment of taxes I had garnished from 07. It would have been nice if he could have at least wrote a note with it to tell me that instead of having to find out myself.

My H should be getting the Motion for temporary support tomorrow or Mon. It's strange, I comment on how badly I want him back and how much I miss him but yet I am scared to think of him calling when he gets that and about 4/20 when we have court. I already have what I am going to wear picked out and I have been working out and trying differant hair styles. I want to make sure I look awsome. I haven't seen him since 11/13/08 and haven't talked since Thanksgiving. Before that we would never go a day without talking to each other.

Well I sure hope that someone can help answers these for me because I have been tossing this around for awhile. I hope everyone is doing well.