Haven't been commenting but following along. Just wanted to say that I have seen a difference between the way you were and how you have been affected recently. My input is just that I would like to see you be the way you have been without your BF and make sure you bring that part with you into the R rebuilding. Whatever, happens then, you will be good. He really tears you up, not good. Look to keep the new you while reconnecting. If he screws that up - that's on him.
And I don't think you need to take so much responsibility for his behavior - there is no excuse. If he didn't like things you did or didn't do, he should have talked to you. And it is still true, that if he wants to work things out, it needs talking and doing. I know you will do your part - hope he know what he has in you.
