Divorcebusting.com  |  Contact      
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 7 of 10 1 2 5 6 7 8 9 10
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 254
L
lynn08 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 254
Mb,

Thanks for your response!

Well I was pretty shocked to say the least! I had been sleeping so I was just sort of standing there going "ok.." I helped him bring a few things in cause he got in a accident and had broken his rib or something then I went back to bed. Lol I didn't know what else to do. He didn't wanna tell me what happened so I left it alone.

We can barely pay our mortgage right now so he can't get an apt or anything. Its weird having him there tho

lynn08 #1745495 04/02/09 06:46 PM
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
Hey Jenn,

Live with him as if he were a houseguest. You have your own problems to worry about. If he asks you why are you seemingly so "cold" tell him that it's because you have more important things to worry about than him, like YOUR HEALTH.

Remember see him as little boy and you the adult. Don't enable him. He's got to do things on his own. If he's kind and compassionate to you, then by all means accept, but don't go overboard. This will show him your newfound independence and shield your heart in case he bails again.

Keep concentrating on yourself. Keep saying to yourself...he's just a roommate. Don't tell him everywhere you're going or everything you're doing continue to live your life as if he wasn't there.

And by all means, DO NOT go to bed with him. You don't need to be hurt again so soon.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
MrBond #1745567 04/02/09 08:38 PM
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
Oh and plus maybe the Big Guy upstairs is trying to tell your H something. : )


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
MrBond #1745587 04/02/09 09:40 PM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 254
L
lynn08 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 254
Ok stuck I am so glad you came by to offer your advice. I'm already following it!

You'll like this one. He's trying to figure out how to get his corvette out of his moms garage and over here, blah blah. I think he was waiting for me to volunteer to help (like I would have in the past) but of course I never did. Eventually he asked if I wouldn't mind driving him over there to which I responded "I'm sorry I had already made plans"

Which I do have plans. When he stopped by after work to get something he kept questioning what I had plans to do (I am a little dressed up) and I would never give him a straight answer. Then he left and called 10 min later to question me again. Ha! I like this. Now that he is back I can see how I've changed.I'm much stronger now.

I keep telling myself to do what I normally do everyday/night and to just ignore him and what he does. He is a houseguest, a roomate. That is all. This will be fun hopefully, I just need to keep going the way I am.oh yes and NO going to bed. I don't even want that anymore.

Plus I'm more worried about my health right now anyway. And yes the big man upstairs works in mysterious ways!

Well because of these recent developments I'm sure ill have more questions soon. Thanks!

lynn08 #1745632 04/02/09 10:29 PM
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
Sounds great Jenn. See how a little absence made him curious about you and it hasn't even been the three weeks!

Keep it going!


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
MrBond #1745718 04/03/09 01:36 AM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 527
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 527
Interesting Jenn. I'll be following along! You have the right idea. Just stay strong and stick to your plan. It will give him a big reality check.


Me:28, first M
H: 33, second M
Married: 08/08
Bomb: 10/08
H filed D and deployed: 12/08
Served: 04/09
I deploy: 07/09
Hearing date: 08/09

Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,975
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,975
Jenn... Excellent and SOUND thinking. Be strong, sistah!


Me-46, D-21, S15, S13

After many years w/my head in the sand...
I FILED
Divorced 6/2011

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 254
L
lynn08 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 254
I'm on my phone so this will be a short update for those of you kind enough to follow my sitch

Btw I made it a point to stay out til 9pm and I could tell he was very curious and wouldn't stop asking ?'S about my wherabouts

He texted me in the AM that he felt weird being in the house and wished he had other living options so I said "sorry u feel that way and I wish there were other options too"

Then he said
"Its not you, its actually REALLY NICE TO SEE YOU I just feel like I'm invading in on your space"

1st time he's said anything like that since bomb

I didn't know what to say so I just said "I know ur having a hard time right now"

Old jenn would have said no I want u there or I'm happy ur here. It felt like he wanted me to validate it 4 him and I refuse to do that

lynn08 #1746240 04/03/09 08:07 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 527
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 527
Jenn,

You are doing great. I think your responses are right on. Hang in there over the weekend. Hope you have some fun plans with friends!


Me:28, first M
H: 33, second M
Married: 08/08
Bomb: 10/08
H filed D and deployed: 12/08
Served: 04/09
I deploy: 07/09
Hearing date: 08/09

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 254
L
lynn08 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 254
Thanks fit, yeah I pretty much made sure I kept the whole weekend filled with things.

He came home from work and was telling me how he was going to his cousins or something that he already planned ...and I just gave him a confused look(like,why are u telling me this) and said ok.....

And he was like "oh I thought you mentioned something about wanting to do something"

And I cut him off smiled and said "no, I never planned anything for us any day this weekend I already have plans"

He responded with "oh maybe I got confused, maybe that was someone telling me that at work...." (Ya right)

I love how he assumed that I'd expect him to spend the whole weekend with him. To me, he is a roommate. I don't need to know hos whereabouts nor does he mine. He seems very confused by how I am acting.

I just got done getting ready to go out so I'm looking all cute and I'm sure I'm about to get questioned.

I never thought I could detach so easily. Its amazing.. the difference. I feel empowered

Page 7 of 10 1 2 5 6 7 8 9 10

Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp. 1996-2025. All rights reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5