Healing from a lifetime of self-deprecation

[still hopeful]

Something I've learned, as I begin letting go and moving forward is that I'm not finding any immediate relief from my beginning movements. I do trust though, that the fact that I have started moving, and intend to continue moving forward, will eventually bring me to a please of peace, satisfaction, fulfillment, happiness, and yes, even love, that would never have come had I simply stayed in my stagnant state.

I don't know if my decision to force movement in my situation is going to bring about positive and productive change in my sitch, but I am confident it be be positive and productive because I've made the decision to value myself and my life, and to live it ACTIVELY as the leading man, rather than PASSIVELY as a background extra. Time will tell. My decision making has kept things alive in my sitch thus far, albeit barely, so I hope that this decision brings about reconciliation after three years.

I'm finally on board with what Phoenixdeux advised awhile back, to let go and look at my XW as my EX-wife. I'm finally able to do this because I'm not afraid of what seems to be the likely end of my run. Either way, I know I deserve love and happiness together, and I haven't had that in a long, long time.