WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 6

[MrBond]

"When she gets to those points, I do try to be compassionate and say "That looks uncomfortable" or "That looks itchy" or "Ouch" or "Awwww, that looks pretty bad" or "Oh no! Not again!" and I follow up with "Is there anything that I can do to make it feel better (or help)?" I've been torn on this wheter it's being compassionate or am I being enabling - helping her get through the stress so she can walk right out my life. Any thoughts?"

You're mixing up compassion with sympathy. Those comments are sympathetic ones where you FEEL SORRY for her situation. Compassion is more for emotions.

"I was also planning on doing what Stuck had done in his situation where when he picked up his kids from his wife, he would always extend an offer to join them. I'm not sure if that would be pursuing, but it would be genuinely how I would feel."

It's not pursuing. It's just being courteous. You just have to go in with the attitude that she might say no and that would be fine too. Also, I didn't really invite her all the time. Some times I just picked them up and left to show her that I didn't need her all the time.

In terms of your timeline, 24 months is 2 years. That's plenty of time to work with. You can do it.

Don't worry too much about the custody talk. I think you're letting it get you very anxious and you want to be sure that when it does come out, you don't let your anxiety show or come off as confrontational.

Don't dwell too much on the past and what ifs. That's what your W's doing and look how confused its making her. You stay focused on the present. Remember, that was how you were then, but this is what you are now!