Episode IV: A New Hope (?)

[dday101798]

Just stopping by.

Things more or less the same, but with some interesting development. My M ended up in the ER on Sunday. After some debate, I figured it appropriate to let STBX know. We exchanged a few cordial texts through the afternoon. Worked on my cousin's car and went to bowling leagues Sunday night, so Monday morning I was just spent physically and emotionally and took off work.

STBX started texting again, going so far as to say she wanted to call but wasn't sure if she should. This kind of lured me into a false hope, but not to badly and went so far as to ask if she would like to go to lunch. This was gunned down, rather rudely and I just left it at that.

Low and behold STBX calls later Monday night, begins mainly about my mother and how she's doing. After covering that, we lightly go over issues with the kids and their belongings left behind at our house for everyone else to take claim of, etc.

Out of no-where, the conversation took the usual nose-dive (on her behalf) and went in to the same old blame-game from her. Somehow I remained very calm through it all and had my cousin as witness should anything get out of hand. STBX again proclaims her "unbelievably strong feelings" towards me still after all this, court and all. Why? Why bother? How can someone still be so internally devout to someone they physically have no desire for to the outside world? Still can't tell if it's all some sick twisted game or what? Guess I'll fin dout at the next court date, who knows, but I didn't say anything to undermine myself and in fact terminated the call so nothing could be "used against".

Shortly there after, I sent a lone unanswered text : "sorry, I needed you (to deal with my mother) I do love you, sorry" no response no nothing, no calls from kids, nothing.

Enter Wednesday, "visitation" night. STBX walks kids to pick up location (OM still at work). Kids were on their skateboards so they naturally arrived quicker. When she caught up she looked pale. No talk of call the night before, just updated her on my M's sitch, and respectfully asked to talk to boys for atleast a few minutes every night. She was accepting of request and said I can call them whenever. Got a little lippy w/me and I told her to just relax.

S10 treid to get us all involved in a football game, wasn't going to happen.

Anyway, the really weird part, she started to walk home and as I pulled out of the parking lot, I had this weird feeling, and at the same time, the boys asked "can we give mom a ride home", I conceeded and pulled up to her and asked if she'd like a ride and she smiled and lit up like a christmas tree? I still don't understand as to why? The whole time in the car (5 blocks) she stared out of the passanger window and never looked at me once, but just that glow she had for a second or two I just don't get.

This past week she's really displayed a overall tone of remorse that I just don't know to believe or what. Both our attorney's are not returning our calls or questions. My guess and others is they want to see if we can start to hash things out.

As I passed har block this morning they were at intersection waiting to turn, after I passed she was just staring out the window at my truck with this strange look?

Game or real? That's the question and if real, what to think?