She filed for D today. Saying that she pretty much just couldn't do it anymore. She even mentioned that she thought I didn't take her seriously because I believe that the marriage can be saved. I don't understand how that is interpreted that way since the LBS is usually thinking that way, but thats what she got out of it.
She said that she knew I was trying to change my ways, and she did too, but she doesnt' believe that people can really change their ways.
And that her 'indecisiveness' in the beginning and not just filing caused more pain for me than she intended. Right...so this is a favor for me?
I couldnt' stop myself from crying when I read the email. And then my 4.5 yr old came over to ask what happened, and I had to tell him about what is happening. I don't know what to do at all now. I really, really feel sick right now.
She is supposed to be home early today, since I was supposed to go to a coaches meeting to volunteer coach for my son's soccer class. But I don't know if I can do it. My mind is shot right now.
I am thinking of going to my parent's house adn finally telling them what's been going on and to stay for a few days. I haven't told any family yet because I didn't want them to hold any grudges in case we reconciled or I didn't want pressure from them to do things that would just make it easier on me, but at the expense of the M. But I think once I tell them, the M will just go down hill cause of all the 'advice/pressure/negative talk/etc.
I really, really feel tired, confused, and extremely down right now.
