Confessions from a former cheater...

[MrNiceGuy]

Initially, she said she had grown tired over the years of me 'losing my legs' (emotionally distant, not contributing to the fun of the family, letting her do all the cooking, activity planning, and vacation planning) and wanted to take a vacation as a wife. That 'vacation' started with 1 week, then 2 weeks, then decided she wanted to separate.

During this first 2 weeks, I learned from her friend that she was lusting after a guy from work and was attempting to talk him out of getting married. Apparently, they've had some hiking/dinner dates even while he was getting married. She has booked a vacation (for the destination we were planning on before the bomb, I believe) and I don't know if it is with OM or not. I don't have any evidence of a PA, but she is certainly lusting after him with fantasy eyeballs to the hilt.

She did admit in a conversation we had that she was dating OM, but said not sleeping with him. Her words - no evidence either way. They work at the same company.

'Controlling' was never brought up before the bomb, and in fact the sudden separation shocked most of us (including family and friends which she has mostly disconnected from). She has said that I can be controlling, but didn't give any details.

Her friend told me that W has stated that she doesn't have any romance for me anymore, and that W frequently states how angry she is with me for anything I do. W has not shown any anger toward me except once regarding some stories my S6 told her that were oddly exaggerated.

She told me 2 weeks ago that she wasn't ready to get divorced, since she was still confused and unsure, which is why the separation would be a good thing for both of us. For me to re-establish myself as a man, and for her to figure things out. Since I moved to an apartment, she moved back to the house. In the last three weeks, she has put away (eradicated?)all photos and reminders of me, and I have moved all of my personal belongings and home office out of the house.

BTW - I'm okay with tough love and cold hard truths. I've been following Puppy's threads enough to have some perspective. :-)