Moved out to apartment, WAW moved back to house

[MrNiceGuy]

Currently, W and I are separated. W is impatiently waiting for OM to separate from his brand-new W so they can start their fantasy life dating. I'm not sure if OM's W is aware of the reason (EA). For moral conscience reasons, I was considering notifying the OM's W anonymously, so that she can make her own choices with a bit of awareness (not details) and perhaps (selfishly) it might disrupt the EA, but then someone here made a comment that seemed to fit: "You can't make the relationship end....it has to happen on its own. Especially in a situation were your wife has implied that she felt you are "controlling". Remember she is addicted to the NRE and like any other addiction...it won't stop until she wants it too."

Since my W has mentioned 'controlling', I didn't know how to address that (or discover if it was true), but just started reading "No more Mr. Nice Guy" after hearing about it on this board and finding some close similarities and interesting growth opportunities for me.

I'm wondering if I am not showing enough backbone? After only 6 weeks of this (Stage 1 negative emotion reduction - according to my DB coach), how standoffish or assertive should I be about EA and general discussions with W about S6, finances, etc. W is calm and collected around me, i.e. not throwing EA in my face, but freely talks bad about me to her well-meaning friend (in a similar position I believe).