Swimming upstream...PH #7

[pearlharbr]

Thanks for commenting Gucci. I was starting to feel like everyone thought I was taking too hard of a stance. But I know what I want and expect and will only be comfortable moving forward on my terms, I appreciate your support in this.

I have been thinking about making a list of my expectations and giving it to xBF when we meet on Sunday. Here's what I have so far:

1. Financial settlement. Agree on how to split assets if we decide to permanently go our separate ways. Signed and notarized.

2. No contact with OW. Send a NC letter that I read and approve. Agree to NC under any circumstances. If OW makes contact, tell me immediately. If agreement is broken in any way then the R is over. Also will include not going to places he took OW either alone or with me.

3. Transparency plan. Full access to all email and phone records, including work accts. Divulge all "secret" accts. Daily accountability for time away from work including names and locations. Notification of any change of plans. Return phone calls within a reasonable time. (Still working on this one)

4. Counseling. He is responsible for finding a couple's counselor and scheduling appts. First appt to be no later than three weeks after financial settlement signed.

5. Dating. We are currently broken up. Dating will start slowly and will not involve sexual contact. (Don't know what to say here, but need to make it clear that he needs to step up and prove to me that he wants me and win me back.) Prior to any sexual contact he will provide proof of STD testing and clean bill of health.

So what I wanted to know is what Gucci and Puppy and the other men here would think if faced with a "wooing" requirement. Here's where I'm coming from: I need to feel like he wants to win me. I know there are other men out there who would want to be with me so I need him to realize that and act accordingly.

I know Gucci just told all the men not to go out of their way to do things for their wives, but that's exactly what I want and expect from xBF. I don't want a wussy man, but I want someone who sees me as a prize and wants to beat out other competitors to win me over. I've heard all the talk, but honestly there has been minimal effort to show me that he is the best option for me.