Gooch, I think we're pretty much saying the same thing. What you're calling "nice" I'm calling "loving."
I did, in fact, start using the past tense more with my wife as her affair progressed over its 3-month arc, and it did, in fact, freak her out. "I hope you end your affair before what is left of my love for you runs out" was the message, and she got it.
