Your H is his own worst enemy. I don't get his verbal threat to leave you "with nothing" nor your acceptance of that as the possible outcome. In most states he would be lucky to walk away with 50%. So unless you have some special circumstances I am not considering, I think his words are all bluster.
Even if there is support for his assertion, I still think he's just acting out to try to gain some footing. I agree its a foolish and crappy way to do so. It disrespects himself as well as you.
I had a friend suggest that our next book for our Christian study group be one that while it happens to incorporate spiritual principles although not entirely religious -- she suggested Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I found this an interesting suggestion.
I have had the audiobook for some time and it had been years since I last listened to it. So I started listening to it again this past week, this time keeping an ear to the entire range of spheres that the ideas expressed touch upon -- Spiritual, Mental, Emotional, Practical, Relational, Parental, Marital, Cultural, etc.
It has gotten me to thinking of the dynamics in the deteriorating situation with my STBXW. I can see how our terrible communication and lack of civility is getting progressively worse, this time with a different clarity.
My STBX's paradigm is that happiness in life is zero-sum, for her to be happy, I have to be unhappy. This is what Covey describes as Win-Lose. My attitude, on the other hand, has been to sacrifice to keep the peace, the "Nice Guy Syndrome". Covey calls this "Lose-Win". The problem is that unless we really work hard for a Win-Win relationship, Covey says that on the fundamental matters a Win-Lose or a Lose-Win relationship will always devolve into a Lose-Lose.
I can see that your H is also displaying a lot of the poor characteristics that led to my own M failing. I think he says those things to you because he is trying to underpin his own flagging self worth. He is feeling a lack of respect. But he is making the common mistake to think that he can regain some respect for himself by putting you down like that. Win-Lose. But that will only lead to Lose-Lose, for the both of you.
I'd like to see the both of you manage to work out a real Win-Win relationship with each other, for both of your sakes as well as for the boys.
