Mindblank #3 - Dumb, Dumb, Dumb....

[mindfull]

Update:

H called several times yesterday, checking in, and checking out family scheduling (overkill for what was going on). He was coming in from out of town.

I heard him with the insurance agent, walking through our home, very PROUDLY giving him the tour (... short explanation, we have a 100 year old home, on the river, in a GREAT neighborhood. When we bought it, it was in foreclosure, and it was SO bad, it took us 2 1/2 years of H general contracting the entire restoration, with some renovation, to even spend the night here, and another year to do the yard, etc... It's amazing now.). It was nice to hear him proud of what he/we had accomplished.

We had a great dinner (I made one he loves, of course), and all of the kids were home (with no activities!!). He goofed off with them for awhile before and after dinner, and then came in and talked to me about some daily stuff. He's having a hard time holding eye contact with me, almost uncomfortable, but not trying to get away at all. He asked me if I wanted to watch American Idol with him. I told him I needed to finish some work, as I'll be out of town all next week, but would love to, if he can wait a bit. So, we did, and all was fine.

I'm trying to keep to myself more when he's here. I'm back to only initiating phone calls/texts if there's a legitimate reason (when he's out of town), and I'm back to creating positive moments of interaction.

H called again this am, as I accidentally resent a text that was in my history to him while trying to delete it. I thought he was going to be a little annoyed, as he was probably sleeping, after driving all night when he left here. He wasn't at all. Wondered what I was doing, asking about D17 this am (always drama there!), and seeing what was going on for the day. I told him about some sales I was closing, and going to lunch with three of my closest friends.

I put an end to the convo, and told him I had to run, as my other line was ringing.

One by one... positive moments.

One by one... thoughts/feelings/emotions NOT being tied to how he is doing, but to how I'm doing...

That's all I can do now.

LET THINGS BE, and be positive in his presence. (oh, and maybe just a little cute!)