German wife still foggy

[PortlandDad]

I would say a mixture of pride and good old-fashioned German stubbornness. You are right, stuck, she just has to learn for herself.

KK: We found out after-the-fact that she didn't HAVE to give up her German citizenship when she was naturalized; if we would have applied through the German Consulate she could have been granted dual citizenship, but we didn't know at the time. My oldest has dual citizenship until he is 21, but then if he wants to keep the German citizenship he has to go to Germany and serve in the Army or other civil service, so it sounds similar to the Thai sitch.

As far as the sitch goes: I still don't know the outcome of the job interview, or whether it even happened. I spoke to my MIL again late last night: it was morning in Germany. My MIL and W were up almost all night talking on the phone. It seems she is doing a lot of soul-searching, asking my MIL if she should come home, saying it isn't working out for her in Germany, questioning if she could have a life with me again, etc. etc. etc.

If this is the breakthrough that I have been waiting for, is it wrong to have "buyer's regret"? So far, all I hear is a lot of self-pity from her. It didn't work out, so she wants to come home? And if it had have worked out, me and the kids would have been a fading image in her rear-view mirror? I kinda feel like now that everything is falling apart in her world that I'm the safe harbor she can pull into.

Don't get me wrong, I do want her back, but I don't see, nor do I get the sense that she wants to make, the personal changes that will put our M back on course. I haven't actually spoken to her yet, so this is all being channeled through my MIL atm, but don't know what I'm supposed to think.

Any suggestions?