I am committed to working on building a future with you as friends. That's as much as I can promise without being dishonest. If something more were to develop down the road, then I would not close the door on it. (It doesn't have to be marriage. I have had my fill of that institution.) But right now I don't see that happening and certainly not without separation.
What does she mean by this? Who knows? I bet your W is confused by her own comments. But you have a green light to become friends, that's part of the reconciliation path so why not explore it? The hard part about this is mixing logic and emotion, letting go of beliefs and allowing some free-falling to happen. We don't have near the control we think we have,so the focus is back on yourself.
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One encounters an awful lot of tea-leaf reading in posts around here, with lots of inferences drawn about "what" s/he is thinking about, or what the mind-frame of this or that poster is, and there's a risk -- as evidenced here -- of over-drawing inferences based on a limited amount of text and an absolutely one-sided recounting of events.
That makes a lot of sense. We only hear one side of the story. We don't know any of the spouses being discussed. Mind reading and feeling for others is a waste of time and energy. We can only address the poster. One of the stengths of the board is unfiltered and various perspectives. Wisdom and discernment of what will work in your situation is your responsibility. Working thru this is like being Bill Murray in Ground Hog Day, everyday seems the same but we learn and apply what we learn to grow and become a better person. Cheers Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
