Wondering how to handle things

[kissak]

Well Mishka, I dont think I can do it anymore and I did call my H out on it last night, of course he denied it, said he didnt lie, but in fact last night he met with a female last night and had dinner with her, but told me he was just gonna ride and find something to eat. I told him I was tired of him lying to me or actually not telling me all the truth and making me think he wanted to come back. Im just tired of it all, and i have the biggest headache this morning over it all.

I dont understand it, I wanna tell him to just come home, but then again, I dont want him here. I think it is just from months and years of wanting him home, its like I want to win the fight. But then again, I dont know that once I won, that I would actually want him.

I didnt text him back for a while last night and he said "i guess youve stopped talking to me, thats ok alot of people have".

I found out he quit EMS/fire...again on Monday. How can he say he is so much better off now than when we were married. He had it all, and now has nothing, not even his friends.