Please listen to Puppy! I am just reading through your sitch and while you have gotten some good advice from people, keep in mind that most of them are new to all this as you are. Heed the words of wisdom offered by someone who has a lot of experience here (I will not say "old timer" as someone else recently made the mistake of doing!)
IMHO, if you are not 100% confident you can conduct yourself without any emotion then you should NOT meet with H. If it goes badly it can put you back both emotionally and financially.
Look at it this way, would you want to do something that may have negative repercussions on your children's future? Because that very well may happen. You could agree to something out of fear or anger or a desire to be nice that ends up impacting a final settlement.
I'm also getting the feeling that you are looking to turn this into a R talk - you want to know why he is doing this. Listen to me: you will not get the answer you seek. And you will end up hurt no matter what he says or doesn't say. I don't think you're ready for this yet.
I've been there. Not exactly same sitch, but I avoided contact when I knew that I couldn't handle myself. And on the one or two occasions I backslid and let my emotions get the better of me it was not good.
You want your H to see you as a strong confident person who will be fine with or without him in your life. And you need to be that person.
That's my $0.02.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
