It's all ablazin'....

[blindsided1]

The Flames are Still Rising

Last thread locking up. So, I'm starting this one. It IS all ablazing, right now.

[Startingover2]

Hey...so was he supposed to get served today or was the response just filed?

Keep us posted.

[Forrest Gump]

"I have not heard from him yet......maybe, I'll get lucky and I won't. But, I can't imagine he won't jump at the chance to call me some nasty names."

Tell him you have to pee.

Don't get yourself worked up here.. if you expect it and dwell on it.. it will be bad.

Draw the line. Trust your instinct..

No Drama! Prepare.

You have a uphill battle already.. don't make it worse.

Last but not least..

Smile.. Even if its fake.

[blindsided1]

SO2- he should have got the paperwork yesterday. I didn't hear from him ----a good thing. I don't think I will. I just figure when I go to pick K up from him after her visit tomorrow he'll be a complete A-hole....nothing new. He'd probably be that way even if he hadn't got the paperwork. I've been distancing from his whole family. It's not as hard as I thought. I now look at K and I as our own family. She's in my world. We have OUR world. I don't know if that is good or bad or that it will even stay that way once the "fire" has burned out. We'll see. Just taking it one day at a time.

FG- gearing up even though I don't anticipate him contacting me about the paperwork. But, I know, if he starts to talk about it...I am just going to say "Everything is in the papers, H. I am trying to do what is best for our daughter. There is no point in discussing it any further. We just don't agree. So, we'll just leave it up to the judge." And, that is it. No anger, no fight, no bitterness....facts and just the facts. The line is drawn...by ME. This is what he chose. I'm not going to make it hard for him. I want him to have a great R with his daughter, but not at the cost of her happiness or well-being. So, I am trying to really trust my instincts, here.

The smiling part....no problem. I've been faking it for a year and a half.

Love you all. I'll keep you posted.

[Sugar and Spice]

Hey, I just came to check in and see how things were going. I hope you have a good day today and I'm proud of you for doing what you needed to do to protect that sweet girl of yours. Like the penguins on Madagascar say, "Smile and wave boys, smile and wave!"

((((hugs))))

[S.T. _I Made It!]

This right here is why you can't do this alone. It is a normal reaction.. but.. something like this could lead a judge to "favor" him. The last thing you want a judge to see.. is you being desperate.

totally totally agree with this. I know you realize how strong your emotions can be and how easily they take over. Are you attending a church? If you go to the pastor, and tell him your sitch, I know a good church will do whatever they can to help you. My neighbor had a church that she just started attending, come to her house, pull all her carpet and furniture that was ruined by a water leak, and replace everything! If you don't get help at one, just keep trying.

I also imagine that OW is also encouraging this whole thing too. But who cares. You just be confident, and have your documentation. We will be praying for you. (((B)))

[kelaaron]

Blindsided,

I saw that you wanted BG to tell you her secret about the son. She has been out of commission but I know what it is. The bottom line for her is this, the child is innocent. The child did not ask for any of this. When you look at the child as a separate entity from it's parents, it is easy to love them. And to welcome them into your heart in whatever capacity you choose. Good luck.

[Startingover2]

Yes, the kids are the innocent ones in all of this. Very sad, but BS's first priority is her and K. The other child is a sad statistic too, but I don't think BS is ready to embrace that child yet...if ever. Not saying she needs to say unkind things to or about him, but trying to not get emotional at all about him may be best for awhile.

[blindsided1]

I appreciate that you all take the time to "talk" to me and read my thread even though I have been absent a lot lately. But, it's not a bad absence. I just have things that I MUST attend to at this point in all of this. I have my paperwork together and I was smart enough to document EVERYTHING from the very beginning. This is where I KNOW I am better than him. I have always been a "list" freak (if you will). I write down everything. So, I documented his visits, his call (none), his lack of visits, cancelled visits, where every cent he has given me has gone. I hope it is enough. At this point, it's in the hands of the judge. H and I do not agree, so it will be up to the court. I am ready....NO EMOTIONS, JUST FACTS.

Friday, I picked K up from him and I was soooo anxious all day about seeing him after he got the papers from me....lo and behold...he was nice, pleasant and joking. WTF? So, at first, I thought "what's he up to?" Then I saw my daughter's head...with the huge black and blue goose egg on it. According to him, she fell and hit her head on the coffee table. I didn't make a scene. I know it was pure accident and these things happen. But, I wonder if he was being nice because he was worried I'd use that too. Then when I dropped her off today...nice, he was nice. He brought her home...nice, he was nice. So, now I'm sure there is something up his sleeve. I know it's horrible, but he hasn't been "nice" in a year and a half. I can't imagine that he all of a sudden had a change of heart. So, Wednesday is the day. The last court date, most likely. Then I guess I'll have to move to "Surviving". There were things that I didn't put in the papers, that I could have. Some of them were pretty awful. But, as you all know, I'm not a vindictive person. And, even though he has hurt me immensely, I have no desire to hurt him back. I DO love him. He will always be my family (to me). He is K's father and she loves him and he loves her.

Tonight was the first time I have seen him get sad. He brought her home and when he was leaving she reached out to him for a hug or kiss. I let him hold her. He gave her back and there were tears in his eyes....which, brought tears to mine. As he drove away K watched him drive all the way down the street and as he turned the corner he waved at her. It was the first time I felt like they would miss each other. It makes me sad. Sad, because he chose this. Sad, that our family is broken. But, he is not the man for me. He is K's father and I pray that he will always love her and be good to her, if no one else....be good to your daughter, Steve...please.

[Forrest Gump]

You still on?