Since the marriage lasted longer than 20 years (considered a long term marriage hence eligible for lifetime alimony) the alimony with unallocated child support for one minor child comes to 40% of his gross income. When she comes of age, I'll be entitled to 30% of his gross income as long as he's working.
Those are the guidelines for highly compensated individuals or so I was told. Most folks in Fairfield County are considered highly compensated.
They also took into consideration the complications from the head injury, my age and having been a stay at home mom for 20 years... i.e., low probability of attaining a high income job. If I get a job he can petition for a modification for the support.
Lawyers follow guidelines that they hammer down your throat. If you go to trial a judge can do whatever he or she wants, though the lawyers emphasize that their guidelines match what a judge is most likely to award.
Ask your lawyer their opinion on the mediator's suggested amount. Because your spouse is employed part time, they may recommend she seek full time employment and/or cut back her expenditures.
What she asks for doesn't matter. Follow the guidelines on what is fair and equitable which is probably in line with the mediator's recommendations.
If you two are unable to settle, you'll have a Special Masters session where they review the lawyers proposals, the financial affidavits and render an opinion. If both parties don't agree with the suggestion (a little negotiating goes on) then you go to trial.
I was told that a trial costs a minimum of $100K.. and in your case your spouse, smarmypants etc would be deposed/subpoenaed for deposition. Lots of money going bye bye.
GET A BETTER APARTMENT/LIVING SPACE. The meager amount you're living on sets a precedent for what is considered your normal lifestyle. Ask your lawyer about this. I believe ex's lower monthly expenses worked in my favor.
Drop me a line on the alternate universe if you want to talk more.
You've noticed he's avoiding that question too, hmm?
F, I forgot to tell you--
there is a clause that his L put in that said I had to keep my FT job and not voluntarily reduce hours (which I wanted to do - I had only worked FT for one year before the divorce, and most of that was on medical leave due to back surgery). Said I set the precedent of what my "earning capacity" was, and that is what it is based on. What is HER earning capacity?
Hugely helpful information. Gypsy: Is the 40% typical compensation? It IS GROSS income, right? Right now, she's getting almost 50% plus an additional $1200 for D18's college. It's killing me. I really CAN'T lose by litigating!
With what I'm giving her now, I can't AFFORD a bigger place right now. She didn't blink when I ased her why she thought it was fair that she was geting a $3600 tax return and I'm getiing a $157 refund, even though I paid most of the mortgage. She makes about 68K PART TIME!!!!! (With BENEFITS,) I'm sure
Thank you so much for the information and meaning you shared. I took it to heart, have been applying it and intentionally waited to reply.
When you asked what I did for me.. I had to laugh. Volunteering at the hospital was what I did! During the marriage I stopped having independent interests.. or I'd start and stop.
You're a very good soul.. and you're good for the soul.
During the separation, ex cut it down to 40% of net pay and I paid the mortgage and all household expenses. I'd want the name of her attorney. I don't know how she's getting that much money while bringing in her own income.
Either her lawyer is brilliant, your lawyer is a wimp or something is wayyyy off.
Hey, I'm at that point, too. What's up for the weekend? I need to get down there for the cage! I don't have kids (traded so I could have them all spring break).
