So i take it the captain kept you anonymous? Good for you for going forward and having the courage to go through what I feel is just! My H confessed his A and the OW to his master chief, which just recently retired. His MC called me & asked me if i wanted to "press charges" but she made it sound like if i did then it would have been known it was me. i felt i couldn't take that chance if i wanted a future R w/my H. The MC also made me feel like she was trying to "help" us but looking back I think she was, but also just looking out for her sailor. Making sure he had a place to live and so forth. She said she was going to take away his early promote which she didn't and take away his NAM which she didn't and take away his privleges for going out with the 1st class association, which she didn't. So i think she was all talk, no action. She never told anyone else in the command so he wouldn't get repremanded. i agonized back & forth about pressing charges bc of the OW's demeaner. i had the pleasure, thanx to my H, to be around her a few times and what he thought was confidence, i felt was cockiness. and the fact my H was infactuated w/her and couldn't stay away from her. figured that would put an end to it. the OW retires in June and i feel like she is getting off w/no backlash. to this day her husband has no clue and i feel she knew exactly what she was doing when she starting seducing my H. she knew i wouldn't ruin his career. that's not who i am, but trust me, as you all are aware, going through these life events make you think of doing things you would never have even thought of doing.
i still get angry thinking about the OW cause half the time my mind tells me they are probably still together. just like today after having several good days with my H, he comes home and says nothing to me and i asked him if he was okay or had a bad day at work and then he gets aggitated stating all the lights in the house are on and hastily turns them all off, and then is now sleeping on the couch. ok so he is probably tired, i get that, but i don't see how taking that out on me is going to help the situation improve at all.
thanks so much for the great advice. i am gonna check into the chaplain idea. our counselor had actually suggested a retreat the chaplain's office does once a month, but my H was a no go. but that was months ago. its been a tough long road, but i actually believe deep down he is truly worth the effort, or else i would not be putting myself through all of the ups and downs.
