Yeah that's me a mix of Celine Dion and Tarzan. Part jungle boy, part pop Diva. It's amazing how transparent I come across here.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I think I mentioned this, that my W had an EA with a GM of a BIG FANCY hotel here in the DFW area. I did confront his wife, I told her everything, the dinners, the happy hours, the jewelry he bought her, the clothes, the implants and so on.
At first she was angry, she was attacking me, telling me that I was a liar. I was confused, didn't know what to do. I left it alone after a few days, she emailed me asking me to meet for coffee. I never met her for coffee, but she did confront my W about it. Of course, she denied everything to the OM's W. I know the OM had a wife and 3 kids. I know he cared deeply for my wife but I think after he found out that his W knew, it scared him straight. At least I hope it did.
I did feel good about myself after telling the OM's W. But then I asked myself what did I do? I don't know if there are still together or not. I really don't care but I feel bad for his W. I did find out after a C session with my W. That he got her implants from a doctor who was having multiple A's at his hotel. The OM would cover for the doctor and so when the OM met my wife, knew she wanted implants, he called in his favor.
Anyway, if you do confront the OM's W...you gotta ask yourself; is this going to make you feel better in the long run? Who knows, she might know already and is just putting up with it.
Me - 39 W - 39 D - 11 D - 8 S - 5 Served - 04/14/09 Temporary Court Orders - 04/27/09
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
Anyway, if you do confront the OM's W...you gotta ask yourself; is this going to make you feel better in the long run? Who knows, she might know already and is just putting up with it.
Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. I would personally err on the side of giving her the information and letting her do whatever she thought was right for HER and her family. If the A is still a secret then that is one of the big draws. The "getting away" with something, take that away and consequences set in and its not that fun anymore. Nothing like a dose of reality to shake things up. Even if she is putting up with it, she would probably at least let him know she knew.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I think that if there are 4 parties involved either knowningly or unknowingly in the consequenses of an affair , then everyone should be on a level playing field with all the rules understood.
Well I certainly created an interesting discussion on confronting OPs. But on to business.
Today's Merry Misadventures. Someone please help me make sense of them.
W calls. Did I still want to have a talk?
On advice of DB Coach (tho didn't say that of course), SP: No. Instead I thought we might just go out someplace, do something trivial, and just try to remember/re-learn what it's like to enjoy being in each other's company. Really, what else is there to say? It's been talked to death. You know my position, I know yours. Let's at least get along before you move out.
W: Okay, fine.
SP: Good. Well I'll sort things out, get a sitter, and so forth. We'll just walk around the botanical garden or something.
W: (Laughing) Is this some kind of trick to get me off the beaten path so you can strangle me?
SP: (Laughing) Nahhh, I'd never kill a woman. It wouldn't be chivalrous.
W: (Seriously) But you'd kill a man? (Beat)
(You know that old silent-film footage of the Model T that goes crashing into a brick wall? Or the guy who catches a cannon-ball in his belly? That's me right now.)
W: I'm going to move out to the corporate apartments as soon as I can. I'm scared to be around you.
SP: Wha? Huh? Wha-happant?
W: Clearly you're obsessed with the idea that there's someone else, and now you're threatening to kill him.
SP: Hammanahammanahammana -- am I living in Crazy Town? Is this Planet Bizarro?
And then it's off to the races! Why would I think she's having an affair and don't I know she's going to be alone for a long long time and she doesn't want any more relationships and while I'm dating on Friday nights she'll be home watching teevee and eating ice cream and it's so insulting that I think she'd do that and how could I insult her if I supposedly love her.............and it concludes with that Top 40 Favorite "We Can Never Be Friends, I Guess This Is Just What It's Going To Be Like, And I'm So Insulted That You Think Such Things Of Me And By The Way We Can Never Discuss Our Relationship Again."
Eeeeyaagh! What did I do? I said nothing! I riffed off what she said as a joke!
If life was a Tex Avery cartoon, I'd be doing that Aah-ooga thing and my eyes would be bugging out four feet while my jaw crashed to the floor and my teeth shattered.
My husband had an attitude that I could respect. He said, "I am going to have a happy life. I can have a happy life with you, or I can have a happy life without you. I prefer to have it with you. But it doesn't have to be that way. I will be happy."
