WAW New life with OM #2

[Phoenixdeux]

You mentioned a few posts back how you hope you aren't detaching too much. Since she's actually living with another man, I think it's impossible to detach too much. In these situations you can't always say, "well, that was a negative so I won't do it anymore", like you not taking her calls. She wanted another man...you shouldn't have to feel like you have to take her calls or she'll get mad. I'm not saying don't take her calls, just to quit figuring in how she'll react to the things you choose to do. Personally, I would try to get a little more detached. You are becoming her conduit to tell about her day and be her buddy. If she want what comes with being married, she should probably break things off with OM. I would try, in small doses, to give her a feeling that you aren't just the guy waiting in the wings. If she gets mad that you leave your phone at home when you go out, whose problem is that? One hint, it isn't yours. If she get mad when you say, "gotta go" when you are talking, whose problem is that? Same answer...her problem. Just because you keep her happy doesn't mean that you are having success...it could just as easily mean that you've made the affair more tolerable to her...she doesn't feel guilty because you seem to be okay with it.