I'm Not a Doctor, But I Play One on DB

[Thinker]

You SHOULD expose him to his wife! Why -- out of the 4 people involved -- should she be the only one NOT to know? Why shouldn't she be able to make the same decisions that she needs to make for HER family, as you are getting to thoughtfully contemplate for YOURS?

An affair has legal, financial, emotional -- even medical (just check out today's development from MarriedCrazy) -- implications on a family. A betrayed spouse has an absolute moral right to know, and I believe that you have a moral obligation to tell her.

Puppy

Thought provoking...

I definitely would if I had any sort of real evidence. In my case, I only have the knowledge that my W is still occasionally reaching out to him and withdrawing from me. That is enough for me to understand my sitch, but I have never seen anything that shows him being other than the recipient of a lot of attention from my W.

I'm not sure how I would even approach it..."Hi, just wanted to let you know that my W has been secretly sending emails to your H - I don't know what they are, or how often or even whether he ever responded but..."

I also really don't want to get sucked into the spying roller coaster again - not healthy for me.

Definitely open for feedback.

Sorry for hijacking SP.