While this might sound selfish I have too much on my own plate to looking for other people's sitches right now.
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but I guess your kids are young adults almost so they get a choice and it complicates things.
Exactly. I realised today that my H has been playing the system all along. I have more than enough proof that he has been less than a good dad in recent years. I had hoped to never have to use it but he has given me no choice now.
L advised me to meet D13 from school. She said to tell her I would be there but I knew if I did D13 would be nowhere to be seen. So I just arrived at school. Unfortunately I chose the wrong entrance to sit outside (there are at least 3) and so didn't catch her. I did use the fact that I was there to go and speak to her teacher though and she was really understanding.
I did get hold of D13 and reluctantly she did come and talk to(or should I say shout at)me. It went pretty much as I expected. Badly. L had advised me to encourage D13 to see how H was manipulating her with his timing but she said she didn't care. She said she was happier there than here. When I asked her how that would pan out when her dad had achieved his aim she said she didn't care as she would find another way to make herself happy. He has well and truely brain washed her.
I have no choice I have to involve the courts now. It will be costly and will probably result in me being out of a home if only b/c I have to sell to pay the court bills. My biggest concern however is the long term effect this is going to have on D13. She has no self esteem whatsoever and I know exactly how that feels. For a nearly 14yr old it is a very scary feeling.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
