Legally speaking, we have not ML since Aug 2008 and we have been separated since 9-15-08. She has had her own apartment since Jan 1. ON TOP OF ALL THAT, I had a vasectomy in Sep 2004. Definitely NOT MINE!!
Karen, emotionally it's a different day. I'm still holding together pretty well and I'm functional at work; except when I'm browsing through DB. Let's just say that this day was something that I had envisioned from time to time throughout my sitch; but actually having it happen, I was not prepared. But I'm being logical and I'm preparing myself for how I will deal with her when we finally talk. I want to have all my questions and thoughts prepared in advance.
The one thing I do realize is that I cannot change any of this; I must deal with it. God has always given me strength and I'm certain I'll have it now. But I pray for HER; she's not a strong person emotionally and I don't know what she's feeling at the moment. That's the scariest part; because I know I don't want any responsibility for her "love child." But because of emotionally instability I fear for what my kids will have to suffer through. They didn't ask for this; neither did I. But I have the cognitive and emotional maturity to handle it. I don't like; but I can handle it.
Personally I would not push to have her tell the kids. She definitly should do it but it doesn't need to be done now. Lots of potential emotional impact that needs to be handled properly for/with the kids. Her being "punished" by having to do it IMO is way down on the importance list. Put the kids needs first.
Personally I would not push to have her tell the kids. She definitly should do it but it doesn't need to be done now. Lots of potential emotional impact that needs to be handled properly for/with the kids. Her being "punished" by having to do it IMO is way down on the importance list. Put the kids needs first.
I agree; I'll let her tell them in HER time. I'm not going to be an a$$ about it; but it IS her deal.
406.011 Obligations of father -- Presumption of paternity. The father of a child which is or may be born out of wedlock is liable to the same extent as the father of a child born in wedlock, whether or not the child is born alive, for the reasonable expense of the mother's pregnancy and confinement and for the education, necessary support and funeral expenses of the child. A child born during lawful wedlock, or within ten (10) months thereafter, is presumed to be the child of the husband and wife. However, a child born out of wedlock includes a child born to a married woman by a man other than her husband where evidence shows that the marital relationship between the husband and wife ceased ten (10) months prior to the birth of the child.
MC sorry to hear the news, I have sympathy for you since I have been on the other side. My H got his OW pregnant.
I totally agree its her news to tell the kids, my advice is to at least be there when it happens because they are going to need you big time.
I wish I had some good advice to give you other than just try and take care of yourself and be there for your kids, but thats about it. You may want to explore the legal and financial responsibilities that go along with this newest bombshell, simply because the law doesn't always take all the factors into account.
Just try and get through your days and do the best you can.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
{{{{Tom}}}} I have no words, which is a shock in itself I know..but know we are here for you to listen if you need to vent or WHATEVER..glad you have good documentation, as, I too wondered if you would be medically responsible, like if she was still on your insurance and things like that..
Hugs and strength and honor, which you have in abundance!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Tom i am so sorry. You or your kids did not deserve this.
At least take some time to reflect just how lucky you are !
Your life is not complicated by a fickle going nowhere relationship. You are not pregnant. You have you beautiful babaies all healthy and stable with you. Your a dad who has a good grasp on whats right for them and you will protect them. You have a safe home and job. Summer is on its way.
