Has your husband seen a doctor(start with a gp, routine check up that you secretly tell the gp his suicidal thoughts) lately, he sounds like he is clinically depressed. This change in your husband could be a chemical imbalance and not really his fault.
Also, with your sitch, he may not want to go to get diagnosed because in his mind you are the "crazy" one and that would ruin the justification in his mind with the way he acts toward you.
