Old thread is long and it's going to lock anyway soon.
Well, it's taken another serious turn and frankly today is a very emotional day.
The WAW is pregnant; and not by me (obviously)
I sent her a TM this morning to ask if she was still picking up the kids and her response was yes; but she couldn't keep them late. Then she said that we had to talk.
I asked her what it was concerning; and she replied that she didn't want to do it over TM. So I asked should I be worried as she had a full STD panel and Gyno exam recently. She said that worried for me was the wrong word; but it was her issue to worry about.
A few minutes later she told me that I should have time to process it; so then she told me. She said she wasn't happy about it and that she was sorry.
Wasn't happy about it??!!
What about the OM? That is HIS responsibility now. Now what kind of discussions are we going to have to have with OUR kids? One would think that discussing the breakup of the M is hard enough to discuss with little ones; now I have to define how mommy is going to have a baby; but I'M not the daddy??
It nevers ends.
Say a prayer for me so that I do the right thing for me and MY kids.
This is definitely not an easy thing. I know too well how hard this will be for you since my H has a child with OW. The NC thing does not work and OM unfortunately will never go away, since he will be around in some form. The funny thing is that this will be especially hard for the unborn because we know how fickle their R is. I wish you the best of luck and we're here for you. I think your W should be the one to have to tell your kids though without you there. Don't save her from having to deal with this consequence. You will have to just be there for them. Best of luck.
I am so very sorry. You must be horribly angry, sad and confused, all at the same time. I cannot even imagine.
For once, I really don't have any advice for you -- just wanted to let you know that I was here, and will say a prayer for you and your kids. I know you will do the right things as you go thru this, as you are a man of faith and character.
I do think you should let your wife know that you're not going to out of your way to proactively say anything to her parents, but that you're not going to LIE to them, either. If you're going to tell your kids, then her parents are GOING to find out, so you're going to need to suggest that SHE tell them.
Hey Vicky..thanks for the support and for the advice. I think that making the W tell the kids is a great idea. Why should I have to bust out the news and explain it?
Puppy..You are right. I'm, at least, feeling all three. I'm praying about how I will handle this. I will not share the burden of this with her. She has to own this. It certainly makes the desire to have her home wane!!!
I'm sorry to hear this. I don't know all your story and will try to go back and catch up but wanted to send this note now.
Do you have legal council ? I hate to inform you of this but it IS your problem / issue. You are legally responsible for the child if you are legally married. Your/her insurance will be the ones who pay - not the OM. YOU could possibly have to pay CS for the child even though it isn't biologically yours. I'm not kidding. Please get legal help and guidance ASAP.
WOW!!! I didn't see that coming...just want you to know that I'm here for you, praying for you and your family as always.
I don't know anything about the legal side of this, but you should call the attorney like Stillhope says!
And, I agree that she should tell the kids. It's not your issue to discuss with them...at least not now. They'll obviously need to discuss it later to get a handle on things.
Love to you!! Amy
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
Hey, since MC and his W are separated, I'm not sure if he is responsible for the child. But as Still said a lawyer would best answer this.
MC, YES!! Have her tell the kids. Have her feel the shame of telling them. It won't be easy for her to do and why should she get the easy way out. You can then comfort them after she has this shameful conversation. I would hate to have to have such a convo with my kids if I had kids. My opinion. All of this is her bottom so don't put a cushion for when she crash.
MC, I'm so sorry. Your life has been such a rollercoaster lately. How are you doing with this??? Not legally, but emotionally. I can't imagine. ((((((mc))))))
I was seperated almost 6 months and still "legally" responsible. Different states have different rules on this.
Sorry about this marriedcrazy. Know that you aren't the first and certainly won't be the last to have this happen to them. I've been thru it. My Ex lost that baby at 6 months but all medical bills were my responsibility even though she and everyone knew it wasn't mine. She readily admitted it wasn't. Didn't matter "legally". Contact lawyer now - please.
