German wife still foggy

[PortlandDad]

My first thread locked, so here goes #2!

I wonder how much of that credit card debt is really both of yours - you both are legally married and all assets and liabilities are probably still shared.

From a legal standpoint, I'm pretty sure that if she wanted to make a case for it that I would be responsible for some of her CC debt, since we are still M. She has been good enough (to this point) to own up to her debts and pay them with the money that she had, but now that she is nearly broke, who knows if she will continue to be responsible. She told me recently that she canceled her visa card, so that gives me some hope that she realized it was going to kill her in the long run if she continued to use it.

Kind of like a teenager. They'll say "I know" this and that and try to make a go of it. Then any little positive things they show, they show it off. But then reality sets in and they go back to needing the stability of mom and dad.

This is exactly the sense that I get, too. She has always liked to show off her stuff, even embellish the truth somewhat. For example, a few years ago I bought her a nice ring with a large cubic zirconium stone. It looked really nice and she was obviously proud of it. We went to dinner with my grandmother and all my aunts and uncles and cousins one night and my wife is sitting at the table showing off the ring and telling everyone that it was a real diamond! She was even trying to get me to go along with her story! It wasn't meant as a joke, or a prank, she was actually trying to convince everyone it was genuine.

It struck me as very juvenile on her part, but it was only one case of many where she has embellished or distorted the truth to try and inflate her self-worth.

It's still tough, our instincts are to care for our spouses in a time of need.

Ain't that the truth! I was so detached from her until I found out she needed surgery, and know I find myself getting suckered back into caring... well, not entirely true: I've cared all along, but I've been remarkably detached until now.