ANyway, we had another long talk the other night.She was hurting and needed to talk about the OM. I guess she ran into her OM and family in the store. She had not seen himn in 2 weeks since he went to the hospital. They had had a couple text msgs that left more questions then answers. He looked at her while standing next to his wife and quickly turned away. She thinks there affair seems to be at the end since he was in the hospital for the last week and surrounded by his wife and kids. We sat and talked about her feelings for him. She cant even say she would want to be with him if he left her. She says its been the loneliest relationship. She told me how it started a month after she moved out in 07. She also admitted to sleeping with another co worker while we had been "reconciled" for the 5 months before she left again. She also made out with her boss too. I didnt blow up or anything. I said ouch that does hurt but it doesnt matter anymore. She said she doesnt know why she is telling me all this stuff.
Sweep,
I'd love to get DQ's perspective on this, but I can't see how this can POSSIBLY be good for YOU -- to allow her to have these OM talks with you like you're her gay boyfriend or something. Don't you feel disrespected when she does this?
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Then she got scared that I would tell her secrets to our daughter. I said no, I cant hurt her like that. Im her dad.
I think you should tell your wife that "I will never say anything to intentionally harm our daughter, but I will also no longer lie to cover up your affairs." Your daughter is at a critical age in her sexual and relational development, and she needs to know that at least ONE of her parents isn't lying to her.
She will also damned well use your relationship with her mother as her model for how a man should treat a woman, so handle with care. Yes, you want to be respectful and courteous to her mother, but you don't want to be a doormat.
I think there may be more takaways from the NMMNG book for this relationship than you think -- not just for any subsequent ones.
