I have a problem because I look back at myself over the last three years and don't like what I see.
Honestly as a dad I am really satisfied with myself other than letting my marriage/life frustrate me and verbally lashing out at my daughter three times. Yep know how many times and can replay them in my head like they happened yesterday. Simple rule - kids shole never be yelled at no matter what they are doing. That problem was easy once I realized I was doing it and has gone away as soon as the pressure of the relationship disappeared.
As a husband ...yuck! Looking back I would have divorced me. Probablly being too hard on myself but truth hurts. Doesn't mean I deserve this but she didn't deserve a husband just going through the motions either.
That being said she is a mess and it's hard. If this were a case of WAW where I pushed her to the point of wanting out then I could hang in there but it really seems like she is in that MLC world.
She is willing to give up a extreemly high salary job and go to CO with a potential 30% cut in pay. She is so close to saying that my daughter can just live with me, She is obsessed with her looks, She is obsessed with income (telling me one day that individuals making less that 100K and couples making almost twice that are in the lower class BIZARRE) She dicussed a worker that she had to coach and spent 20 minutes talking about how ugly she was (WTH???) She talks to me for 40 minutes about my daughter and never once uses her name just calls her "the kid" She is anti social to all the neighbors (according to the neighbors) She doesn't drink during the day but starts when she comes home and is drunk by 10pm every night She complains constantly about all the stress in her life
What a mess. I know this is not new to many people out there. I look at this and think MLC - gone from me. I could handle an affair (so I think), I could put in the work needed to create a new R and maintain it. But I don't think I can do the time for her to come out of this. That saddens me. And the person she is now is someone I could easily close my heart off to. But once I do that I don't think there is any coming back.
