I am so very sorry. You must be horribly angry, sad and confused, all at the same time. I cannot even imagine.
For once, I really don't have any advice for you -- just wanted to let you know that I was here, and will say a prayer for you and your kids. I know you will do the right things as you go thru this, as you are a man of faith and character.
I do think you should let your wife know that you're not going to out of your way to proactively say anything to her parents, but that you're not going to LIE to them, either. If you're going to tell your kids, then her parents are GOING to find out, so you're going to need to suggest that SHE tell them.
