SP, Are you still going to have a dialouge with your W? One caveat to keep in mind when you get emotional or confused on what to do next, just ask will this help me reach my goal if you are uncertain just remain silent. Since your W is a QT then really being engaged with her is important. She wants to know she matters. You letting her in your life and sharing with her are important. This ties in with the WOA. Here is your plan to "lovingingly detach." You let her know you understand how you hurt her, that you are taking responsibility for it and that you are working on bettering yourself. Let her know you will support her to do whatever she needs while you are still married. Let her talk, validate and don't get defensive. Your goal is to get back to the friendship stage, talking and spending time together. Your W craves this. Listen to what the women are telling you here, their insight will be invaluable to you. Lastly - no expectations and expect a pullback if you get close to her. The gap between reality and expectation is filled with frustration. The Stockdale Paradox helped me cope with that. Frustration is also a form of anger which is counterproductive. Patience, loving action and self-growth. You can handle it. Cheers Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
