My DB coach told me to act happy but distant from my wife during my separation. I wasn't to try and make small talk or ask her anything about what she's up to. It's very important to be strong with this one. You can't do it sometimes and not other times. It has to be consistent. You also can't offer any information about what you're up to. If she asks, be vague. You still have to act positive and upbeat though. Play with the kids in front of her when you pick them up. Throw them around a bit and make them laugh. She has to see you doing this. Act as though you couldn't care less about what she's doing but are still happy anyway. I noticed a quick change in my wife when I did all this. More and more she started asking about my life and what I'd been up to. Everything I told her was happy and made it sound to her as though I was having a great time. Obviously you can't go dark but you also can't be there for her all the time since she wants out of this marriage. She needs to experience the consequences of her actions. Just make sure you're a fun, happy dad. That's all you need to be concentrating on right now. You have to put everything in to it though. No half-arsed attempts here.
Kev
Me: 32, Wife: 22 Son: 2 Married: 2 years Separated: January 5th 2009
Sometimes you have to become lost before you can find yourself.
