Need Help handling affair thats still going on

[kjensen]

Hi-
The nervous breakdown was uncontrollable crying, total confusion, and suicidal "talk"-without thinking steps through. H was diagnosed as chronic lowgrade dpression then after the nervous breakdown the diagnosis changed to major depression. He is on ADs now and going to therapy(all of which he was totally against til he hit "rock bottom".
You wouldn't know he is fighting this-he functions well with depression,in general. He is not a threat to anyone at this point.
I have seen a lawyer-several weeks ago(and my husband met with one right after he moved out-to get information only). The divorce will cost me and help H. I most likely will pay child support and maybe some alimony until he can find a better paying job.
So, I am trying not to tip the scales towards a D for now, in order to see how this all plays out after some time. If I separate our bank accounts now, he cannot survive financially more than a month. I don't want him coming back to me for financial reasons.
He doesn't spend anything out of our joint account except gas and food-the rest he pays for with his business funds.
He is adamant about not getting involved/meeting OW's children, unless the were in a committed relationship. Since OW has custody every other week, he has been seeing her on her "off weeks"(which this is one aas is the upcoming weekend).
I haven't spoken to H in 36 hours- I know thats not much, but its where I've started. We all start somewhere don't we?
I appreciate the feedback and your viewpoint of how I've slowed my H's process. I have known H more than half my life and he and my girls are really the only family I have in my heart. So it has been a slow process for ME to get moving on. But I am.
Thanks.