So it's a new day and I'm starting to worry about what happened yesterday. I'm questioning if it's progress or not. I mean, so he felt bad after being here all day, but what if he just brushes it off as something to go through as a result of the separation and doesn't let himself think that he might actually be wrong and want to come home? He's still talking to his OW even if she is in another country. It's just so hard to focus on me and the steps I'm taking when it feels like these steps are leading me away from my goal. I don't know what's going on with him which is the hardest part for me. We've spent the last 11 years together and I knew everything about his life. It's so hard going from that to being totally shut out. I'm so scared that I'm going to do all of this and it's still going to end in divorce. I know that's something that I need to prepare myself for. I know that I can't control him or the outcome and all I can do is work on myself and GAL and all of that stuff. What I'm struggling with is that I never wanted this. I have had no say in this at all. My life and my future have been changed and ultimately I have no say in that.
