WAW1

[Can it work]

Hey Mark

Sorry to hear you are still struggling. I know it seems like an uphill struggle at the moment but I really think you have to stop being so negative. Try to find positives no matter how small they may seem. You said your wife told you the she still sort of loved you? That's a good thing. That means there's something there as a base to improve on. It won't be easy but it is going to be possible. I still have hopes for my marriage and my wife has never said anything that positive to me. All I got was the 'I don't love you any more' bit.

It's not fair that she's blaming you totally for the sitch. Yes you played your part but you're trying to salvage it now. I think your wife will be seeing your improvements too no matter how much she denies it.

You also seem far too impatient right now. After only dropping the bomb in December I'd be very surprised if you'd managed to turn things around already. You often speak about acknowledging or accepting that your marriage is over. You need to stop thinking that. Your marriage is still a long way from over. You've only been on this site for a few weeks. Give it some time to get more strategies in place and try different things. You can't just give up if you fall at the first hurdle.

I know money's tight right now since your contract has come to an end but you really need to think about getting a DB coach when you can afford it. They are professional counsellors who are very pro-marriage. If you need somebody to give you direction and ideas then they are who you should ideally contact.

You know the opinion of everyone on here about you moving out. We pretty much all see it as a bad idea. When you say that your wife is telling you to look for rental accommodation when you move back in to your house, it sounds to me as though you are still letting her push you around. Don't keep letting her dictate how this is going to go. You have a say in your life, your home, and the lives of your children. Stand up and make yourself heard. She requires unconditional love and respect? Damn it man, you need to demand the same thing from her! You are not a doormat.

Please don't be hasty in anything. If there's one thing I've learned from DBing, it's that nothing happens quickly. Try to find some patience within yourself and stop being so defeatest all the time. Tell yourself that you can make this work. And if possible, get yourself a DB coach. You will feel better after speaking to one.

Good luck.

Kev