Thanks for your input. I am managing quite well considering. There is nothing I can do to alter anything so I accept things as they are and hope that they improve.
With regards to W, I don't think she is 'finding' herself, I think she had totally 'lost' herself and was looking for guidance and along came a VERY strong person, BFF and basically took her over. That seems to have been the way things have been going for about 2 years now. The whole family noticed it at first and it was a 'joke' to us all. Now the situation is more concerning for my 2 boys. They think their mother is a shell of a person but are only really concerned for her happiness. I am only concerned for my boys.
You are right though, it's not a game and plenty of people have been hurt along the way. In fact, I think that a lot of MIL's problems stem from stress about the whole thing. I would never suggest that to W, it's not my place or like me to do that.
